one step closer to you

Have you ever thought about what you would say to yourself if you could go back in time and talk to yourself? Like, if you could go back to high school and tell your 16 year old self anything, what would it be? I was thinking about that today - what I know now that I wish I knew in high school. The thought made me laugh though. Because as stubborn as I am now, I was twice that in high school, and I'm not sure I would listen to the advice even if it was from me to myself. I would say: breath, and remind myself that things I think are a big deal, really aren't.. and also to stop caring so much about being liked. Although, knowing myself as well as I do (spending 23 years with someone 24 hours a day ensures you know them pretty well) I know that I still would have cared. I was so paranoid, always thinking people hated me, or were talking about me behind my back. Lets face it though.. its was high school... they most definitely were.

I asked my mom that question too. She said she'd tell herself how hot she was, because she didn't realize how good she had it when she was that young. She also said she'd tell herself to show her bod a little more.. because after kids it was never the same. haha, sounds like something my mom would say.

A song from the sound of music always makes me thankful for things in my life. The captain sings to Maria about how lucky he is to have found her.. he sings: "somewhere in my youth, or childhood, I must have done something good." I forget sometimes how lucky I am. Stress is a big part of being a student (and being poor) but if I take a moment to think about it, I realize that I have so much in my life that most don't. First and foremost I have always had the best family I could ask for - dysfunctional at times - but the best none-the-less. I also have great friends. Not a lot of them, but the ones I do keep are real, honest and true friends. And fun, did I mention how fun my friends are? Last but not least I have the most amazing boyfriend. As much as I hate Saskatoon, I thank God every day that this city brought me him. Knowing that I get to spend my life with him makes even the worst of moments okay. He also brings his own amazing family, and I can't thank them enough for bringing me in like one of their own.

Finally my countdown. Always counting down -- 1 sleep until Des is here, 1 week until I go to MooseJaw, 3 weeks until Kelvins wedding, 4 weeks until my new place, 2 months until summer, 3 months until Arbuckle, 4 months until my final practicum, 7 months until I graduate, and 8 months until my long-distance relationship turns short. So much too look forward to.